No, it's not that you dirty perv.
Aaanyway- the other week my boyfriend was showing me a few of his favorite ridiculous youtube videos, featuring such classics as The Barking Cat (which is admittedly hilarious) and other gems. During this mini-marathon, we were offered as a suggestion for a video that was titled something to the effect of 'Women Can't Drive So Let's All Laugh At their Suckness', which my boyfriend decided to click on. The video contained some pretty horrible driving, so it's was funny if you like to watch people have a hard time at life and embarrass themselves (I do not share this particular enjoyment. I'm the person who frantically buries themselves under pillows and furniture to avoid viewing the embarrassing things people do on reality tv. Don't even get near me with the first few weeks of American Idol. ...or the rest of the show for that matter...). But the thing that got me was how many other 'women at shit at driving and life' videos there were in the related video section.
Still, it's been a while since then and I totally forgot about it until today, when some brilliant driving inspired me. Including the incident today, I have two good examples of men failing at driving. Both of the stories amuse me, both involve u-turns, but one is significantly more epic than the other. So just to even out some of this oddly sexist tendency on the internet, here are to friendly (ish) recountings of Men Fail At Driving and Such stories. Enjoy. :)
The first:
I've read that statistically men tend to make better drivers because they are nauturally more aggressive and that translates to being more decisive behind the wheel. I don't necessarily know if that's true (being that the one thing that I actually took from my high school statistics class is that statistics lie), but this is an example of male desisivness (and/or tendency to purchase vehicles too large to maneuver properly) behind the wheel gone awry- Today I was sitting at a spotlight on my way to work. I was coming from my boyfriend's house and when I do this, I find that I avoid more traffic if I take an in-road half the way, and the freeway the rest. So this road that I'm on is not very big. I think it was just two lanes at this point. But anyway.
So I'm sitting at the light and I'm watching as the left turn lane gets to go. The last person to turn across from me was this guy in a gigantor pickup that decides to make a fast just-beat-the-yellow-light u-turn. Unfortunately for him, he is either new at driving a truck this unnecessarily huge, or just kind of sucks at life, because he didn't manage to make the turn. This wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't now our turn to drive straight... Straight into him. Two lanes of traffic had to wait while this guy (who had managed to block us both by covering most of the two-lanes-merging-into-one area where we were headed) who then proceeded to cut me off from passing him by being too big and driving to slow. Then, for his finale, blew through the next light in a did-he-make-it-or-didn't-he fashion. Sigh. Silly man.
I think that last move proves that his bad driving is a constant thing and not just circumstance.
Now this second story was much more epic to witness, also involved a man and a u-turn, with the added benefit of a big rig. I know, right? You can already tell it's going to be awesome.
This was a couple years ago now. I actually might still have been in high school. Again I was sitting at a red light waiting to go straight, having just pulled out of the parking lot from dropping my sister off at swim practice and was heading home. Also again, the road I was on was fairly small - two lanes on each side.
At the left turn light opposite my lane was a giant big rig with two trailers. I won't say what company it was from, but I will tell you that there are two red circles involved.
Now, if you've ever driven anywhere near a big rig, you know that they need a lot of room to turn, to the point where they sometimes need multiple lanes just to turn right, let alone u-turn. Well, this particular driver decided that he was going to make a u-turn with mutiple trailers (the giant part of the truck that holds stuff. So two of those giant things) onto a small two lane road.
I and my fellow drivers watched with vague interest as the light turned green and this man made his attempt. I was initially surprised that the cab (the drivey part. You know, the part with the engine) even made the turn in the space allotted, and even more so when the first trailer managed to slide its way through, teetering slightly. But then, as I feared, the close space proved too much for the second trailer. I and my fellow drivers now watched in surprise and horror and the second trailer swayed a few times before actually TIPPING OVER, taking out the street sign and part of the stop light, leaving it swinging violently in it's wake as the trailer skidded over to the side of the road.
Needless to say, I was pretty shocked.
Cue the still swaying street light to turn green and the path of my lane covered by big rig tipping over type debris and said tipped over big rig just barely out of the road on the abnormally large shoulder.
That was seriously crazy to witness.
And there you have it, two of my personal examples of men failing and driving.
The. End. :P
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